天才的共性：穆斯克和乔布斯的创意基因（节选）
发布时间：2013-12-5 12:43
发布者：1770309616
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Dating And Dollars: How To Mix Love And Money In Your Twenties约会与金钱：年轻人如何处理爱情和金钱的关系 The internet is brimming with money tips for newlyweds — open a joint account, talk about your money values, budget for date night. While sound advice, these articles ignore a simple truth: your money relationship doesn’t begin when you walk down the aisle. It starts on your very first date. 互联网为新婚夫妇提供了许多理财技巧——开设联名账户，沟通理财价值观，为约会之夜制定预算。这些都是有益的忠告，不过这些文章忽略了一条简单的真理：你和配偶之间的金钱关系并非始于步入婚姻殿堂之时，而是从第一次约会就开始了。 Rather than discussing finances in romantic relationships, we tend to quickly and quietly adapt to our beliefs about how the other person wants to deal with the issue. So if Mr. Wonderful pays on dates one and two, his dinner partner may assume he is happy to pay on dates three, four and 50. But that often leads to frustration from at least one party. Maybe, like most millennials, Mr. Wonderful can’t really afford to treat every time. Perhaps his date feels guilty for not contributing financially. 与其在恋爱中谈钱，我们更倾向于迅速地悄悄去适应另一半在这件事情上的看法。因此，如果说好人君（Mr. Wonderful）头一两次约会都主动掏钱，那他的约会对象可能就会觉得第三回、第四回甚至是第50回也都该由他买单。但这通常会至少让其中一方感到沮丧失落。或许，像大多数千禧一代，好人君实际上无法每次都请客。也许他的约会对象会因为在财务上没有做出贡献而感到内疚。 You are probably thinking, ‘just say something.’ But chances are you wouldn’t. 你可能会想，“说说清楚吧。”不过你多半开不了口。 “We are all ‘funny’ about money, no matter how much or how little money we have, ” writes Dr. Kate Levinson in her book Emotional Currency. If, as the oft quoted statistic says, 70% of divorces are due to money woes, what financial changes can couples make early on to fortify their long term odds? 凯特·莱文森（Kate Levinson）博士在《情感货币》（Emotional Currency）一书中写道，“我们对待金钱的态度都很“有趣”，无论是有钱还是没钱人。”据经常引用的统计数字表明，70%的人离婚是因为经济问题，那么，夫妻可以提前在财务方面做出哪些改变，来巩固长期的婚姻关系？ Scott Rick, a marketing professor at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, studies the links between money, attraction and marital happiness. In a 2011 paper, “ Fatal (Fiscal) Attraction: Spendthrifts and Tightwads in Marriage, ” Rick and his co-authors reveal that tightwads (people who tend to spend less than they would like to) often marry spendthrifts (people who spend more than they would like to). 密歇根大学罗斯商学院（University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business）市场营销学教授斯科特·里克（Scott Rick）专注于研究金钱、吸引力和婚姻幸福间的联系。在2011年的论文《致命（财务）吸引力：婚姻中的败家子和吝啬鬼》（Fatal (Fiscal) Attraction: Spendthrifts and Tightwads in Marriage）中，里克与合作者们揭示了吝啬鬼（那些花钱节俭的人）通常会和败家子（那些花钱大手大脚的人）结婚的真相。 “Generally we marry ourselves. We go out and find someone who mirrors the things we like about ourselves, ” says Rick, who began looking at spendthrifts and tightwads in relationships when he married a tightwad. “But a tightwad doesn’t like being a tightwad. A spendthrift does not like being a spendthrift. It turns out they don’t want a second one of themselves in the home.” Rick explains that the differences initially lead to attraction but eventually becomes less fun when you need to make decisions of economic consequence. 自打娶了个小气老婆之后，里克就开始研究情侣关系中的败家子和吝啬鬼，他表示，“通常来说，我们会和同类人结婚。我们出去约会，寻找那些和我们兴趣相投的人。但是极其抠门的人不喜欢成为吝啬鬼。挥霍无度的人也不喜欢成为败家子。事实证明，他们都不喜欢在家里看到第二个自己。”里克解释说，最初的性格差异会导致爱情吸引，但是当需要做出有一定经济影响的决定时，这就没那么好玩了。 Around this time last year, a much talked about New York Times article reveled a trend of young adults asking for their love interest’s credit score to determine if he or she is worth pursuing. In one anecdote a 31 year old flight attendant was quickly disenchanted when a suitor asked about her credit score on their very first date. 去年大约这个时候，《纽约时报》（New York Times）刊出的一篇文章引发了热烈的讨论，文章报道美国年轻人流行打听自己心仪对象的信用评分，以衡量对方是否值得追求。有这样一段轶事，当追求者在双方第一次约会中问及她的信用评分时，一位31岁的空姐突然立刻不再抱幻想。 Like our dating lives, a person’s relationship to money cannot be boiled down to a single statistic. Maybe wait a few dates to bring up nitty gritty details like credit scores and 401k balances. Instead Levinson says you should see if the relationship “has legs” and keep an eye out for “patterns.” Does one partner always pay? Are you are being overly generous, while your partner is being tightfisted? How does that make you feel? 跟约会那样，人与金钱的关系不能简单归结为一个数字。也许等约会过几次，再打听彼此的信用评分以及401K退休金户头余额等这些具体细节吧。莱文森表示，重点要看这段恋爱关系是否“能长久”，密切注意“交往模式”。是否总是一方在付钱？你是否过于慷慨，而约会对象特别抠门？这让你有什么感觉？ If you are unhappy with your money exchanges, Levinson recommends approaching the topic in the same way you might the dirty socks your girlfriend leaves around. ‘You always leave your socks on the floor and that’s irritating to me. Why don’t you put them in the hamper?’ is not so different from saying, ‘You never let me pay for dinner and that’s irritating to me. What is that about for you?’ Don’t criticize, but instead try to come to a mutual understanding of why you each behave the way you do. 如果你对你们的金钱往来不满意，莱文森建议，解决这个问题可以仿效处理女朋友乱扔脏袜子的做法。“你总是把袜子扔在地板上，这让我很恼火。为什么不把袜子放在洗衣篮里？”其实这样说没有多大不同：“你总是不让我请你吃晚餐，这让我很恼火。这是怎么回事？”不要批评对方，而是尝试相互理解，为什么你们各自会有这种行为。 Married financial planners Scott and Bethany Palmer describe money as a laboratory, by observing your love-interest’s spending habits you can get to know him or her. If you, for example, notice that the girl you have gone out with a few times is careful with her pennies you can compliment her self control. If you notice she throws spending caution to the wind you can ask about her non-financial adventures. “When you are dating you really have the opportunity to see what you are about to get into, ” says Scott. 婚内理财规划师斯科特·帕尔默（Scott Palmer）和贝瑟尼·帕尔默（Bethany Palmer）把金钱形容为一座实验室，通过观察心仪对象的消费习惯，可以了解对方的为人。比如说，如果你注意到，和你约会过几次的女友花钱很仔细，你可以称赞她的自我控制力。如果你发现她花钱大手大脚，也可以询问她在财务方面以外的冒险经历。斯科特说，“约会的时候，实际上是有机会看清楚对方是什么样的人的。” There are, however, also warnings signs to look for. You may want to rethink a relationship if someone is unwilling to discuss money, lies about their finances or doesn’t pay you back. Perhaps your date said he left a tip for that friendly waitress on the table, but you find no cash when you run back to get your sunglasses. Don’t let red flags go. “Once we are in love with somebody, ” Levinson notes, “we are vulnerable to taking care of someone in ways that are not healthy.” 当然也有些信号要警惕。如果对方不愿讨论金钱，对财务状况撒谎，只有索取没有付出，那么你可能就要重新考虑与之的关系。也许你的约会对象会说，他有把小费放在桌子上留给亲切友好的女服务生，但当你回去找落下的太阳眼镜时，却没有看到。不要放过这样的危险信号。莱文森指出，“一旦爱上某个人，我们就很容易用一些不健康的方式去纵容对方。” A psychotherapist, Levinson is currently working with a couple that has been dating for four years and wants to buy a house. Both partners have steady incomes, but one has additional family money. Generous with small expenses, the partner with extra funds wants to split the home 50/50 even if it means buying a lesser property. The other partner cannot understand why his mate isn’t willing to pay more and take a larger share of the equity so they can live in a home they love. “The work, ” says Levinson, “is really about figuring out why she needs to be so boundaried here and having her partner understand why.” Being in love (like or lust) doesn’t preclude the realities of financial inequality and assumptions. By the same token, knowing the contents of someone’s bank account doesn’t mean you understand his or her relationship to it. 作为一名心理治疗师，莱文森目前正为一对情侣提供咨询，他们交往了四年并想购买一栋房产。双方都有稳定收入，其中一方拥有额外的家庭财产。手头更宽裕的女方虽然在小额支出上很大方，但却希望平摊购房费用，即便这意味着他们只能买小一点的房子也在所不惜。男方不能理解为什么女友不愿意多掏点钱，多负担一点购房费用，这样他们就能住上一栋自己喜欢的房子。莱文森说，“咨询实际上是为了搞清楚，为什么她需要在买房问题上划清界限，并让男友理解其中的原因。”坠入爱河（喜欢或欲望）不能排除财务不对等的现实和假设。出于同样的原因，知道某人银行账户有多少钱，并不意味着你就理解对方的金钱观念。
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10 most depression jobs世界上最令人郁闷的10种工作 Some jobs are more depression-prone than others. Here are 10 fields (out of 21 major job categories) in which full-time workers are most likely to report an episode of major depression in a given year. But if you want to be a nurse (No. 4), it doesn’t mean you should pick another profession. 我们发现在21种常见的工作里，有10种更容易使人抑郁。在一定的工作年限里，全职从事这10种工作的人更容易患上一次严重抑郁。不过话说回来，如果你很想成为一名护士(排名第四)，也并不意味着因为这个你就得换个职业。 “There are certain aspects of any job that can contribute to or exacerbate depression, ” says Deborah Legge, PhD, a licensed mental health counselor in Buffalo. "Folks with the high-stress jobs have a greater chance of managing it if they take care of themselves and get the help they need.” 纽约州挂牌的精神健康顾问迪波拉莱格博士(Deborah Legge)说：“任何工作都可能引起，或者加重抑郁。从事高压力工作的人，如果学会善待自己，并在需要的时候向专业人士寻求帮助，还是很有希望控制好压力的。” Personal-care providers top the list, with nearly 11% of people in this field reporting a bout of major depression. (The rate is 13% in the unemployed; 7% in the general population.) "It is stressful, seeing people sick and not getting a lot of positive reinforcement." 保姆/护工的压力排名第一。将近11%的保姆有过一次严重抑郁的经历。(该比率在失业者中是13%，在普通人群中的是7%。) “这份工作的压力真的非常大，整天照看病人，又始终得不到正面的反馈支持。”有护工这样说。 A typical day can include feeding, bathing, and caring for others who are "often incapable of expressing gratitude or appreciation…because they are too ill or too young or they just aren’t in the habit of it, " says Christopher Willard, clinical psychologist at Tufts University and author of Child’s Mind. 塔夫斯大学的临床精神科专家和儿童心理学的作者克里斯托佛威尔德(Christopher Willard)说，保姆或护工每天的工作就是给那些没有办法表达感激的人喂食、洗澡和提供照顾，而那些被照顾的人要么病得太重、要么年纪太小，要么根本不习惯表达感谢。 Ranking just below professional-care workers are the people who are serving the food at your favorite local digs. Wait staff often get low pay and can have exhausting jobs with numerous people telling them what to do each day. While 10% of workers in general reported an episode of major depression in the past year, almost 15% of women in this field did so. 排在保姆/护工之后的是饭馆服务员。这些人通常工资很低又工作辛苦，每天都有数不清的人告诉他们应该做什么。 有10%的工作者在过去一年经历过严重抑郁，而有15%的餐厅女服务员也是这样。 "This is often a very thankless job, " Legge says. "People can be really rude and there is a lot of physical exertion. When people are depressed, it is hard to have energy and motivation—when you have to be on, it is difficult." 莱格博士说“饭馆服务员是个费力不讨好的工作。接受服务的人有时真的很粗鲁，同时这项工作又非常需要体力。人们沮丧时，很难获得工作的能量和动力，但同时又不得不拼命工作，这确实非常困难。” It’s probably not a huge surprise to find social workers near the top of this list. Dealing with abused children or families on the brink of every imaginable crisis—combined with bureaucratic red tape—can make for a demanding, stressful job that’s often 24-7. 社工位于这项调查的前列应该并不奇怪。每天都要面对不可想象的危机——受虐的儿童，濒临破碎的家庭，再加上官僚作风的繁文缛节，使得这份工作的压力非常大，而且通常需要24小时待命。 "There can be a culture that says that to do a good job, you have to work really hard and often make sacrifices, " Willard says. 威尔德说“做好一份工作就必须十分努力，并且经常做出牺牲，这已经成了某种社会文化。” "Because social workers work with people who are so needy, it can be hard to not sacrifice too much to the job. I see that happen a lot with social workers and other caring professions, and they get really burned out pretty quickly." “由于社工的工作对象是那些极度需要帮助的人群，所以他们在工作中不做出极大的牺牲是不可能的。我见到许多这样的例子，他们确实很快就会筋疲力尽。” This includes doctors, nurses, therapists, and other professions that attract people who might end up giving a lot without saving a little for themselves. Health-care workers can have long, irregular hours and days in which other people’s lives are literally in their hands. In other words, the stress can be off the charts. 医护工作者包括医生、护士、治疗师和其他类似的专业人员，这份职业看起来似乎挺吸引人，其实他们很可能付出了很多，但到头来什么也没得到。医护工作者不但工作时间超长、没有规律，而且总是处在生死攸关的关头。 换而言之，压力大得无以言表。 "Every day they are seeing sickness, trauma, and death and dealing with family members of patients, " Willard says. "It can shade one’s outlook on the whole that the world is a sadder place." 威尔德说：“他们每天都面对病痛、外伤和死亡，还要和患者的家属交涉。他们的眼前一片灰暗，目之所及的地方都是悲惨世界。” These jobs can bring irregular paychecks, uncertain hours, and isolation. 这些工作收入不稳定，工作时间不固定，而且要承受孤独寂寞。 Creative people may also have higher rates of mood disorders; about 9% reported an episode of major depression in the previous year. In men, it’s the job category most likely to be associated with an episode of major depression (nearly 7% in full-time workers). 艺术家通常患精神失常的危险性更大，有约9%的人在过去一年内经历了重度抑郁，特别是此类工作中的男性，患重度抑郁的比率最高(全职工作的男性中有接近 7%患重度抑郁)。 "One thing I see a lot in entertainers and artists is bipolar illness, " says Legge. "There could be undiagnosed or untreated mood disorders in people who are artistic…. Depression is not uncommon to those who are drawn to work in the arts, and then the lifestyle contributes to it." 莱格说“我经常见到艺人和艺术家患两极化(抑郁和躁狂)疾病。他们的精神紊乱很多未被诊断或治疗。在艺术领域工作的人，抑郁非常普遍，这与他们的生活方式有一定联系。” The demands on teachers seem to be constantly growing. Many work after school and then take work home. In many areas, they learn to do a lot with a little. 社会对教师的要求似乎在不断增加。许多老师课后还有大量的工作，甚至需要把工作带回家。 在很多方面，他们都得学会利用有限的资源开展十分繁重的工作。 "There are pressures from many different audiences—the kids, their parents, and the schools trying to meet standards, all (of which) have different demands, " Willard says. "This can make it difficult for teachers to do their thing and remember the reason they got started in the field." 威尔德说“各方面都对老师造成压力：孩子、家长、学校，各方面又有各自不同的要求。这使得老师们难以开展他们的工作，也容易使他们失去当初从事教育事业的初衷。”
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